A social etiquette I always insist on is booking a room when you are in town. Your presence shouldn’t inconvenience the daily lives of family and friends.
But occasionally, we find ourselves as guests in people’s houses. Here is a blueprint to help you be an awesome guest when this happens.
1. Announce Your Visit Early Enough
Do you really need to call ahead and announce your visit? I mean, it’s not as if this person could be in the middle of something, like taking care of their sick kid or preparing for a vacation.
It’s not as if they could be having a rough time with their spouse, and need time to themselves to figure sh!t out and go on romantic dates or whatever it is couples do.
And there is absolutely no chance that they could be in a financial crisis and can’t host anyone at the moment.
Because you are here, and you want to spend time with them, and you are more important than everything they are going through. Maybe it’s just me but this seems a little rude.
2. Bring Something With You
My African Ubuntu culture doesn’t allow me to turn up at someone’s house empty-handed.
Your hosts are going through the trouble of making their home hospitable to you. They’ll cook and serve you food, give you a room or a place to sleep, and go out of their way to entertain you during this period.
The least you could do is carry along something as a sign of gratitude. It doesn’t have to be something big, it’s the thought that counts.
If you are well acquainted with them and unsure what to get, check in on what they might be short of.
3. Lower Your Standards
Remember that your host’s environment, habits, and resources might not match your usual lifestyle.
Unless you have dietary restrictions (which should be communicated in advance), eat what’s offered, and sleep where you are shown, even if it’s on the couch.
This isn’t the time to point out how undercooked the food is or talk about the stiff mattress. It’s not in your place to remark about the noisy kids or clumsy pets.
Being a guest is a privilege, not a right. Appreciate what they provide you because it’s the thought that counts.
Also Read: 23 Basic Table Manners Everyone Must Know
4. Lend a Hand
Your host will likely not ask for assistance even if they need it. It’s for you to take the initiative and offer your help.
In the Kitchen, help prepare meals or set the table. A simple “Can I chop something for you?” goes a long way. Clear your plate after meals and offer to wash the dishes.
Volunteer with daily chores like watering the plants or taking out the trash. It’s also a nice touch to help the kids with their homework.
The goal as a guest is to be as much help as possible.
5. Buy Food
Still on helping out, another way to show gratitude and ease your host’s burden is to contribute to the food supply during your stay.
Offer to buy essentials such as milk and bread. Once or twice, treat them to a meal at the new restaurant in town or somewhere they’ve wanted to try.
It’s nice to go out sometimes and try new things.
6. Be Clean
It doesn’t matter how messy you are at your place; clean up after yourself when you are at someone’s house. Make your bed, keep your things in your suitcase, and clean your hair from the drain.
Don’t leave your razor, toothbrush, or other items scattered around the bathroom. If necessary, triple-check that everything is as it should be.
7. Entertain Yourself
It’s no one’s responsibility to entertain you. Everyone has their busy schedules. Stay out of people’s way and do what brought you there.
During your free time, be independent and keep yourself occupied. Read a book or take a walk around the neighborhood. This may also be the best time to help around the house.
8. Respect the House Rules
Chances are, they do things a little differently there. Show courtesy by respecting your host’s house rules.
When you arrive, politely ask about specific rules: “Is there anything I need to know to make my stay easier for you?”
Mind your noise and use headphones if need be. Also, respect shared spaces such as the bathroom. Walk in, do your business promptly, and leave it for the rest.
9. Don’t Overstay
Just because your host told you to make yourself at home doesn’t mean you should turn it into your permanent residence.
Like the dancer who knows when to leave the stage, a good guest knows when it’s time to go.
Confirm your departure to your host a day or two before leaving. If you must stay longer than anticipated, ask first.
Make sure you leave the space the same way, if not better than you found it.
10. Be Grateful
Hosting someone takes a lot of time, resources, and effort. Therefore, before you leave, remember to thank your host for their generosity.
Thank them first when they accept your guest request, thank them second upon arriving, and lastly, thank them as you leave.
Mention that you had a wonderful time and apologize for any inconvenience you may have caused them.
Finally, return the favor and let them know they are always welcome at your place anytime.
It’s not that difficult, is it?
